the thing about space

I've been tackling space
fighting with silence
bleeding between worlds
lamp posts and cigarette butts
the woman upstairs is loud
and it doesn't sound good
he tells me I am safe here
but I'm scared

I worry often times my body -
becomes invisible
I play with words like my pronouns
don't matter
but they are intangible to my latest sexual partner
he retreats and corrects the way he's expected to treat me
so my body is seen in the ways he's respected

the pieces melt into blurry memories of
what's true
often times I get confused
how do I fit here
and then I remember
I do not fit easily into your visions for me
I do not scramble to fulfill your fantasy
I will not be humbled by your ignorance of me

I slip easily into word play
I shift quickly to avoid no boundary
but i will keep you here, way up here
and I won't hold you but remain
shapeless
in the comfort of my own
missing, ambiguous, non conforming
boundless yet bound, changing identity